I, Judyth, was feeling great until I stepped into a cigarette smoke-filled restaurant the day after Christmas. This somehow was the last straw in weakening my immune system sufficiently to be susceptible to a persistent six-week onslaught of flu symp- toms ranging from a throat so sore that I could barely swallow for two weeks(two strep cultures were negative), tonsils swollen to the point of feeling like I had a golf ball lodged in my throat, a violent gagging cough every time I ate anything, and sciatic-type leg aches deep inside the bones which drove me crazy for several nights and prevented sleep. Now, as you can understand, this was quite embarrassing for a naturopathic doctor! During this entire time, I repeatedly treated lots of my patients suffering from the flu with much success, most of them recovering within two or three days. I found myself giving suggestions to my hypnosis patients that the sound of my coughing would take them into a DEEPER and DEEPER state of trance. Some of my patients told me "I sure hope I don't get what you have!" Others asked, "Are you taking anything for your flu?" I was doing all the right things, or so I thought- taking all the appropriate homeopathic remedies and vitamins and avoiding dairy products. One symptoms would go aways, but another, even more severe, would quickly follow. I spent a lot of time wondering what I was supposed to learn from it all, and, needless to say, some moments of serious discouragement.

The turning point to regaining my health came when we attended a wonderful Indian banquet in honor of Paramahansa Yogananda's birthday. That day Bob sensed that I needed some inspiration and read to me the section from Yogananda's book The Divine Romance on healing. Yogananda talked about the importance of holding powerfully in one's mind the imperturbable thought of wholeness in order to overpower the vibration or thought of illness. He told a story about his sister having suffered from a terrible throat infection. She couldn't swallow anything (just like me) without terrible pain and cried to Yogananda, "Please do anything you want to help me." He told her, "It is your mind that is creating this sore throat." He brought her food to eat and, without her awareness, placed his hand on her throat as he sent the power of his thought into her throat. She was immediately able to eat without any pain and was thrilled that her throat was healed. After Yogananda left, she looked at her throat in the mirror. When she saw the ulcers still there, the pain suddenly re-turned. When she told him what happened, he said, "I saw your throat perfect in the light of God, and that is why you were well. But you saw the disease, and that is why you are feeling pain." He instructed her to drink some water and , because her mind, was receptive, the throat pain was again immediately alleviated. She didn't look at her throat in the mirror again.

This story deeply impressed me, but my throat pain persisted. At the banquet that evening I ran into a patient whom I had helped with the flu a week before. She had recovered within a few days and thanked me and said she was sorry I was still sick. I heard myself responding, "It's more important for me to be able to help my patients heal than myself." I immediately realized I was unconsciously being a martyr rather than practicing the principle of "Physician Heal Thyself". I woke the next day free of my agonizing throat pain, understanding that there's no real value in helping others with their healing while I sacrificed my own health in the process.